ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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