I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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