so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
