My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
