today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
