We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
