actually, I'm a sock model
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
