I hate your face
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
