I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
