No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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