who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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