it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize