just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
