I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
