Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
