Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
