Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
