He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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