I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have post one night stand depression
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
