She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
