you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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