Do you still have your period?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
