Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize