what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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