Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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