That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
