Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
