Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize