Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
