He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
