She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
