Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
