if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
