so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize