she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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