There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
