she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
