I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
