Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
