we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
