Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
