I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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