So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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