sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
