just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
