I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize