Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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