Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
