I think I won the penis lottery.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
