put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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