am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
