Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
