I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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