i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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