im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize