Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
