We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
