hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
