She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pants are for mortals
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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