I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
