Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize