Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
