I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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