he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize