so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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