im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
