I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
