when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
