She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
